Comments on: Parenting A Rainbow Baby

By: Heidi Barber

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 02:40:23 +0000

I just want to say thank you so much for writing this. You’ve given words to something I’ve been living and feeling for the past 13 months since having my rainbow baby girl. It does feel like a little dark cloud is lurking most days – nights are the hardest. Such a great reminder about not letting my anxiety affect her though. If you ever do a support group for mamas of rainbow babies, would love to join! xo.

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By: Karina Martínez

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 01:50:09 +0000

I never had a pregnancy loss but after having two kids I think it’s always in the back of our head, the loss of our child. I have read much about these feelings and mostly experts talk about how it’s mostly about our own attachments and fear of death. We have to accept anything as it comes no matter how tragic, as its part of our own growth in this world. To know anything can happen at any minute to anybody and that death is the only sure thing, embrace it and accept it, is what makes us live in the moment. Thinking too much about what can happen and thinking about a tragedy accuring turns into anxiety and thus over protection of our children. The universe is always listening…always send your babies light and divine guidence and know they have their own path no matter what that is and can’t be controlled.
Congrats for your new baby and yes its always in the back of my mind…”what if I would’ve had a third”

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By: B.P

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 23:23:41 +0000

This is the first time I came across something that could resonate and articulate what I have been feeling over the first year of My rainbow babies life. My heart aches often for the little one that we lost and I never had time to fully grieve. I got pregnant with my RB almost immediately after and I have been riddled with that anxiety ever since. We are so grateful for our dearest gift but it is difficult finding balance anyhow thank you for sharing your experience and it has helped me on the road to processing all of this because I dont know how to verbalize these feelings other than saying there is an emptiness I feel . In reading these stories first step is acknowledging I’m not alone.

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By: Tiffany

Thu, 23 May 2019 19:56:29 +0000

I had a miscarriage (our 3rd baby) two months before I got pregnant with our 4th baby. I always call him “my gift from God.” Nobody, not my husband, nor my parents, I mean nobody is allowed to tell him “no” or raise their voice to him. He’s only 11 months old so there is no reason to raise your voice, but it’s silly that if anyone tries to tell him “no,” I’m quick to remind them that he is an angel from Heaven and to never speak to him like that. My family and friends laugh, but I’m 100% serious. I’m lucky though because since the day our rainbow baby was born, my 5 year old son and 3 year old son have never once resented him. They adore him! I think that they saw the pain that I was in during and after my miscarriage, as little as they were. My kids went to my first ultrasound with our 3rd baby, where I was told that I didn’t have a viable pregnancy and they were at the second ultrasound where I was told that our baby had no heartbeat. Our baby had no heartbeat for 11 days before he or she came out, so my kids picked up on my sadness and my new fears. They know that I’m terrified of anything happening to any of them. I just try to give my fears to God and shut the enemy down and stay aware and on top of the anxiety that overrides me sometimes. Being a Mom is not always easy. Ok, let’s get real…it’s hard!!!

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By: Haley D

Fri, 10 May 2019 01:29:39 +0000

In 2017, my daughter died at 9 days old. I became pregnant not long after. I was also mentally ill with PTSD (among other things) and I believe I still am. My pregnancy with my rainbow baby – my sweet, beautiful son – was wracked with anxiety and terror. Of course, it didn’t end when he was born. It has been much like the experience you’ve described. We celebrated my son’s first birthday this past weekend, and though I sometimes FEEL like I may be a bit “better”.. the fear remains. I’m terrified that something will happen to him. I want to keep him. I want to die before my living children do. I pray for it.

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By: Major is Two - REZTT

Fri, 19 Oct 2018 10:24:18 +0000

[…] our family, our little Maj is magic. Our rainbow baby, the preamble to his arrival was full of so much fear, so much doubt, and countless sleepless […]

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By: Elisabeth

Fri, 10 Aug 2018 19:59:31 +0000

Thank you for sharing. I only have one (rainbow baby), so I have nothing to compare parenting style with. I am more anxious than my sisters with their babies, very over-protective. I do feel like he will be taken away from me, I hate that feeling. But he’s so special and precious. I hope it gets better and easier. I hate being that helicopter parent.

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By: Emily

Mon, 01 Jan 2018 23:40:16 +0000

Eva,
I am a recent reader of your blog. I know this post is from a while back but it was exactly what I needed today. When I was 7 months pregnant with my son I was told there was a 70% chance that he would be still born and if he did survive there would be a 90% mortality rate in the first year. This was after a normal 7 months of pregnancy, i was young, healthy, and in complete despair. It shook me to my core. As we approached the due date the problem seemed to disappear. No medical explanation and the doctors couldn’t believe it. My son was born and they let us go home after 4 days. A day later we were back in. And after several months of monitoring and testing we were told we have a perfectly healthy boy. Our son Miles turns 2 tomorrow 🙂 2016 brought us so much joy and we expected 2017 to be even better. We found out in May that we were expecting, we found out it was twins, then we found out one stopped growing. The surviving twin was given a slim chance of surviving. I had it made up in my mind that it would just be ok because my son defied odds. We made it into the 2nd trimester and the baby had a severe cystic hygroma and we later found out she had turners syndrome. She didn’t make it and I had to go into surgery in August for a D&C. It’s been a dark time and with the new year I am trying to look forward with hope, it’s hard not to when my Miles Man is turning 2 and we didn’t even expect to see him breathe. It’s one of those things that’s easier said than done though. How did you manage everything in that time between your miscarriage and when your son was conceived?
Happy New Year!
Emily

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By: Lori

Mon, 09 Oct 2017 20:07:03 +0000

I can’t believe it’s been 21 years since I lost my first baby, a girl, at 6 1/2 months of pregnancy. It was so hard! My loss was caused by a blood disorder, so my 2 subsequent pregnancies were high risk and I was so relieved that both times, I had a healthy baby!

My kids are now 17 and 14 and my approach is 2-fold: on one hand I love to spend time with them (I homeschool them even now) and I’m a bit of a helicopter mom.

But my other approach is, I’m thankful for every day with them, and I don’t EVER take them for granted. If one of them died tomorrow (my nightmare, truly), I would try to focus on the fact that I had more time with them than many parents get. I really try to treasure each day as a gift. It’s all more than I deserve.

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By: Natalie Gay

Mon, 12 Jun 2017 13:54:56 +0000

I expiranced a very tragic infant loss, I had what thought to be a very normal c-section smooths delivery but the next day my world turned upside down the baby temp dropped An starting going down hill long story short he had a rare birth defect that was irreversible An watch him die.. 2 yrs later I was pregnant only to find out it was ectopic an I almost died after that yrs followed an I was told “I am sorry your body has gone into traumatic menopause u will never have anymore children” 2 yrs later I found out I was pregnant miracle but I couldn’t find the joy I was terrified either I would die or baby would die it was the longest pregnancy… I have a very happy Rainbow baby an I am always worried is today his last day he will turn 5 this yr an no one understands the reasoning behind my parenting choices

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