Comments on: “This MY House?”: Navigating Changes With My Toddler

By: Moving Mayhem - REZTT

Tue, 30 Apr 2019 23:48:11 +0000

[…] we moved in to our last home, Marlowe had just turned two, and I was pregnant with Major. Marlowe had a really hard time the first week in our new house, but at the time I attributed it mostly to me not preparing her enough for the change– and a […]

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By: Monica Yourell

Thu, 04 May 2017 23:17:17 +0000

Eva..just reading now as it popped up on link for Mexican Food on facebook….fascinating reading….i experienced the same with my son when he experienced some bullying (albeit quite mild.(…thankfully!!! My husband and i over the years since he was young had done role play with him, brought the subject up told him what to say, what to do, who to tell, etc….BUT we forgot to tell him how he would FEEL! !!!when it did happen! He was humiliated and embarassed and sad…….and i was devasted that i missed it !!!!!! He felt so bewildered. .he didnt tell us for days…..kills me now….great lesson learnt however. ..thanks for posting

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By: Jen

Thu, 08 Sep 2016 23:11:57 +0000

Welcome to CT! I moved to CT a little over 2 years ago from Westchester county not a far move but Was it stressful so I know how you felt. now when I moved my children were not toddlers like your daughter and I was not pregnant ( I don’t know how you did it) in fact they were 7th grade and 12th but we moved out of the only home they knew since we didn’t move far about 21 miles my son was able to commute to his Highschool to complete his senior year. My daughter however had to switch schools mid year and we lived in a small town in Westchester and moved to a city in CT. Oh boy what change! my daughter came home from school crying for a week that she had no friends no one to eat lunch with she wanted to move back to her house. The crying not only by her but me too I was a mess. I too questioned if I made the right decision to move. We went out that weekend And redecorated her bedroom and let her buy whatever she wanted to make her room her special place. Slowly as the weeks went on she made friends some of those friends are now her best friends and she says she never ever wants to leave CT. Change is hard on everyone. But after almost 3 years I know we are where we are supposed to be and we are together and that’s all that matters. I wish you and your family a lifetime of happiness in your new home.

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By: Courtney

Wed, 07 Sep 2016 03:40:00 +0000

Had the same experience with our girl toddler. When we’ve travelled in the past with our twins they’ve always adapted very well. Then time had passed since we had stayed the night anywhere that wasn’t home and we went to stay with my parents the night before Mother’s Day and she was terrified. It was hard. Thankfully it seems like things are better again after taking a Labor Day vacation. ?? Glad the little miss has adapted to the new digs!

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By: Jori King

Sat, 03 Sep 2016 13:36:22 +0000

I’m 12 weeks pregnant with our first and I’m not gonna lie, this post made me weep, I was weeping for you and for Marlowe, I feel like you really touched on some things I’m guessing a lot of moms have been through. Great post… Now to find the box of Kleenex. -Jori

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By: Robyn Mizell

Thu, 01 Sep 2016 20:22:54 +0000

Eva, You are such a good mommy!! It is heart wrenching when our babies are truly upset like that. But the new day brought sunshine and beautiful thoughts your sweet daughters way. Much love and happiness in your new home. Look forward to reading more blog posts. You are truly the best!! Love, Robyn – Coffee Chat Girl

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By: Averill

Thu, 01 Sep 2016 20:02:55 +0000

I’ve been there and made that same mistake. Multiple times. In addition to being far less self evident than physical needs, emotional needs are moving targets, especially in young children who are developing so rapidly. One week something distresses them / the next week they take the same experience in stride.

When we moved a few years back my elder son was nearing 3 and, save for a little stressing out when we packed up his room, was remarkably unphased (which surprised me as he was — and is — Mr. Type A/routine oriented/control freak). In fact, he never really talked about the old house again!

One thing we did — and I do think this helped if there are other mamas out there gearing up for a move with a toddler, is that we unpacked his room first and got everything all set up (and much the same as his old room) before he spent the night. He was just so happy to see his old toys/bed again, that he forgot all about not being “home.”

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By: lydia @makinglamadre

Thu, 01 Sep 2016 05:57:25 +0000

We are on the brink of a potential move and this was really eye opening to me. My son will be two in December so is relatively close in age to Marlowe and I never would have thought about the ways in which he might be thrown off by a new bedroom and orientation. Thanks for sharing.
xx lydia @makinglamadre

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By: Michelle

Wed, 31 Aug 2016 20:26:26 +0000

I just went through the exact same experience with my (then) 11 month old. Our Mommy and Me instructor forewarned me the move may be difficult on him (and also instructed me to unpack his room first), but he’s such an easy going kid (not a great sleeper like Marlowe, but super chill) that I kind of wrote off the potential impact. Well, nearly 2 weeks of sleepless nights later I learned to never minimize how attune my son can be to such disruptions. When I really thought about it, overnight we changed the only environment he had ever known his entire life, so how could he not be upset?!

Are you familiar with the RIE method of parenting? I’m not a strict follower, but I do wholly believe in its overarching philosophy of “respectful” parenting; acknowledging that your child is a fully aware and capable person. It’s very much in the vein of your third to last paragraph, and it changed my view of parenting and relationship with my son. Janet Lansbury is a current thought-leader in the space and her book Elevating Childcare: A Guide to Respectful Parenting contains some interesting notions…if you’re curious 🙂

Thanks for always being such a thoughtful and honest voice!

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By: Miranda

Wed, 31 Aug 2016 20:00:10 +0000

I love your blog and I love the way you view motherhood, being a wife, and building a family! My little boy is only 7 months old and I feel like his whole life has been a transition – growth spurts, sleeping arrangements from our room to his room, sleep regressions, teething, crawling, etc… it is all coming in consistent waves, so we never have a time of feeling settled. Right now we are in the midst of sleep training him to waking up less at night and some nights I feel like its gonna defeat me. But I love the way you put everything on hold for the day to make sure Marlowe was settled in the house, because I feel like I am realizing that. As much as I wish I could carry on with life and my baby would go with the flow and adapt along with me, I realize sometimes I have to stop everything and focus on making sure he is ok… in this instance making sure he has a consistent bedtime and bedtime routine with minimal stimulus leading up to bed time. My boy is pretty chill and easy going, so it catches me off guard when he is thrown off and needs some extra help getting settled into life.
Thank you so much for your honesty and perspective and encouraging words!

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