Comments on: Happily Eva Answers: You Can(t) Sit With Us

By: linda

Mon, 29 Feb 2016 19:40:36 +0000

i had to end a toxic friendship myself. i remind myself all the time of what eva said, she was toxic to me because of how unhappy she is in her own life. i tried to help but finally had to walk away.

i knew we wouldn’t be able to avoid bumping into each other at social gatherings, so i made it a point to not discuss the situation with common friends. it was akward at first, but now we nod and say hello, and go about enjoying our activities.

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By: Greg Fillmore

Sat, 09 Jan 2016 18:12:05 +0000

I had a friend in the past, his name was Ben. We lost touch, because he grew a big ego. Still the talks that we had 15 or 16 years ago, the wisdom of many of those talks still applies.
Understanding the meanings of the words that define people is key for yourself, in relationship as to whether your friends (or family) in your life reflect your foundational core values.
That is what philosophy and true dialoging is, agreeing on the definitions of words that will be discussed. At that time he was planning on being a philosophy professor.
I only have very few “deep close friends”, a) because there is only so much time in each 24 hour cycle, as well as b) most people don’t draw enough water from the well of integrity, sadly our society currently encourages unintegrity, rather than integrity,

From the weblink http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/integrity

noun
in·teg·ri·ty \in-ˈte-grə-tē\
Simple Definition of integrity
: the quality of being honest and fair
: the state of being complete or whole
But maybe defining what character traits (values) of the people in your life will assist you in further discerning who will be your friends in the future.
Whenever in the past I would need to call someone on their shortcomings (a nice word for bull*#it) my mother Kathy would say “Now remember to start out by sharing “I make observations and not judgements.” , also that “None of us are perfect, I am also learning many new things about being a better person.” , her advice continues to humbly work each day I run into friends, co workers, or acquaintances who are helping me complete errands for the day, that being humble, listening and making observations and not judgements toward others, while being discerning (choosing carefully who you spend YOUR valuable time with) about the people you have in your life, is very rewarding, applying those tools, but it is hard too, because in life you let a lot of people go.

Good luck Ms. Friendly Fire, I humbly hope, that some of what I shared, may be of some help, in your journey with this change in your life.
Greg Fillmore

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By: Rocio

Fri, 08 Jan 2016 18:46:16 +0000

Couldn’t of said it better myself…. 😉

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By: Sus

Fri, 08 Jan 2016 18:33:29 +0000

How is it possible after a long friendship with close friends that they do not have your back when you need them!? It also makes you feel like it’s your fault and when you have great courage to talk about it they brush it off as its fine.

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By: Vanessa

Fri, 08 Jan 2016 17:08:25 +0000

Sometimes you have to make the painful decision to disassociate yourself with certain people especially if the realationship is toxic. I’ve been in a similar situation recently and trust me it feels great not having that bad energy around you. Time will heal you

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By: Alisha

Fri, 08 Jan 2016 17:03:12 +0000

I think LW is being petty. If the two friends know the situation and continue to associate then possibly they think that LW overreacted in the first place. Also it’s possible that they don’t feel like they should pick sides. Lastly, do you know how hard it is to find a good hairdresser?!

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