Comments on: Daddy Daycare?

By: Sandy Speer

Tue, 18 May 2021 19:19:40 +0000

I’m older, but I’m so blessed. My husband assumed the equal parental role when I was in nursing school in 1994. Nursing school was brutal, and I wasn’t able to be home much. I’m so thankful I had a true partner. My kids are adults now, and don’t assume gender roles when it comes to parenting, though I still better at spotting and caring for illness!

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By: Father’s Day Gift Guide 2019- What To Buy Dad - REZTT

Wed, 05 Jun 2019 11:00:30 +0000

[…] we keep our hearts open to fatherhood changing and growing…and that we can always do better and push ourselves just a little bit more. One bad day, week, or month doesn’t make a bad parent. In fact, it’s the interest in growth […]

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By: Motherhood Expectations: What I learned - REZTT

Wed, 08 May 2019 11:44:55 +0000

[…] and needed tending to, when our childcare cancelled or an appointment needed to be made. I ended up having to do it all. And my full time job. […]

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By: Colleen

Fri, 27 Oct 2017 15:14:10 +0000

Thank you so much for writing about this. I have a 10 month old baby boy and since the day he was born I’ve taken on every single responsibility in terms of parenthood AND I work full time. Most of it I took on all by myself, not really giving my husband a shot. I will admit I felt I could do it all better but fast-forward a few months and I’ve created a household where my husband isn’t really sure how to care for Logan and do the “annoying” stuff. He loves him dearly and will play with him of course, but he doesn’t think to change the diapers or start bath time or even consider taking him to his doctor appointments. It’s not his fault entirely – I took it all on probably sub-conscientiously b/c society says I have too and I refused to ask for help. but I don’t have to take it all on…not in this day and age. Me and my husband both work and contribute to the house, we make decisions on our life together, we both try to tidy up and get the chores done, etc. Why can’t parenting be exactly the same? I’m rambling and don’t have a clear answer to making it all equal but it is something I was shocked about when I realized it was happening in my own home. I’d love to do it all but I shouldn’t have too!

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By: Mary

Wed, 27 Sep 2017 01:22:25 +0000

When my husband and I had our son, I assumed he would be the “secondary parent”. He had never even held a baby before (!) when I got pregnant, so I figured he would probably have a steep learning curve. I was so wrong!

I struggled with debilitating postpartum depression after delivery and was having a hard time even making it out of bed in the morning for the first 6 months or so. My husband changed most of the diapers, did most of the nighttime feedings, and set the schedule. He even did most of the babywearing! I was so focused on my recovery, I didn’t even realize how much he was handling by himself (I still feel guilty about that).

When our son was 2, my husband (who is an active duty Marine) deployed out of the country for 6 months. I was suddenly the sole caretaker and it made me realize that he was actually the “primary” parent. Needless to say, those 6 months were HARD and I was the one with the steep learning curve. Like you, I had been selling my husband short. Probably because my own Dad had filled a more traditional role. It never occurred to me that a Dad could be just as good as a Mom at all of those little parenting tasks that none of us get much credit for!

I loved this post. Thank you for your open, honest writing. And for letting us get to know your family. ?

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By: Heather

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 18:12:00 +0000

I love this! My husband steps up whenever needed but it seems hard when our 9 month old primarily wants me. Every time he wants me instead of daddy I can see my husband feels defeated. I hope this will get better with time. I also know that I need to let my husband take the reigns more often or it won’t get better. Any tips?

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By: Ashley Meissner

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 08:44:11 +0000

Wow this post was so eye opening for me! I feel that I have absolutely taken the primary parent role and have found myself telling my husband “No, it’s okay, I’ll do it” for just about everything for my baby girl. I think so many things are easier for me to do because of the bond my daughter and I have (and breastfeeding has been her favorite source of comfort). Your thoughts have inspired me to take a step back and let him take the reigns more. Thank you!

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By: tara

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 15:07:05 +0000

this hits home! my husband has a very busy schedule and I am generally okay with being the primary caretaker (although burned out at times). However, when he has time off and is around more, I struggle to relinquish control. It’s hard to adjust to having that second parent around. It’s a work in progress….Thanks Eva, another good topic!

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By: Lauren

Sun, 13 Aug 2017 15:52:51 +0000

As a SAHM, I have naturally assumed the “primary parent” role, but my husband does an amazing job at taking on a lot of the responsibility when he’s home. It helps a lot that when my daughter was born, I was in the ICU for HELLP Syndrome, and she was in the NICU due to being born prematurely (36wks) and having a double nuchal cord (she needed some assistance breathing), making him the sole parent spending time with her for 36 hours, so he was very comfortable with her by the time I met her. He assumed the role of “involved dad” right away and has continued it – I consider myself lucky as several of our friends have family dynamics like you mentioned where the mother takes on the lion share of the responsibility; that’s now how our dynamic works.

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By: Christina H

Sat, 12 Aug 2017 12:05:46 +0000

Just like I’ve read in some comments below, my husband, when left alone with our 6 1/2 month old son, will do a great job. You can tell our son loves man time lol! My husband works A LOT so I can stay home and to be honest I really don’t care for the hours he’s working for this newer time in our lives. Although I’m very grateful to stay home and raise our son. He works a 4pm-midnight shift and gets home late. That said he sleeps most of the day and then goes to work. That’s where the majority of parenting has landed on my shoulders and definite resentment has set in from time to time on my end. At home, if we’re both home, he’ll usually only help with our son if I push that I need help. Sometimes he will react and help on his own. He will even tell me that I do things better than he in regards to our son and that’s why I get a better outcome for certain things like naps. Not sure if he really feels like that or just wants me to do it because when they’re alone he obviously gets things done. I always thought he’d be more invested with us time wise despite his schedule, not everyday but some days at least. So since giving birth a harder time has set in our marriage Id say temporarily. Things are getting much easier with my son getting older on my end which is helping. I just think my husband will be more involved when our son is older and I just didn’t think it was going to be like that. Ahhh sorry I’m rambling now. Great Father when left alone…..other times needs a lot of work.

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