Comments on: A Crying (Mom) Shame

By: Motherhood Expectations: What I learned - REZTT

Wed, 08 May 2019 22:14:47 +0000

[…] with a whole set of beliefs or assumptions about what it will be like, feel like, look like– and who the ideal Mother is. With Mother’s Day right around the corner, and those pressures at the forefront of people’s […]

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By: Why Is Help A Four Letter Word? - REZTT

Wed, 19 Dec 2018 12:42:42 +0000

[…] my kids get less because of it at all. And so I’ve learned to let go of the negativity, and the shame, and the exhaustion too. And to just feel lucky that I have the help from such an awesome […]

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By: Bee

Thu, 18 May 2017 21:15:52 +0000

Eva, you’ve given me courage. I’ve just started a blog in which I plan to ‘shoot straight from the hip.’ I have yet to spread the word about this new venture, but I’ve started posting so that I can fully engage. Anyway, all this to say I know I will face what you have faced: incredible judgement. And I’ll have to find the strength to deal with that without feeling the need to back down because honesty is driving this. On another note, I’m sorry about your husband and the sitter. Been there. Lived that. Not a good time. Keep keeping it real!

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By: Annie

Sun, 23 Apr 2017 09:15:37 +0000

I’m a young mum and I’ve delt with so much mum shaming since having my first child at 18, ( I’m now 30 ) everyone always having an opinion on my every move as a mother. I’m learning and growing as a mum just as they are learning and growing. Thank you for being supportive of all mothers, we are all trying are best!

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By: Elise

Sat, 15 Apr 2017 04:27:28 +0000

I am in my mid 20’s and not a mother. But I can relate to many of points you have made here . My thoughts are that this simply goes beyond “motherhood” or “parenthood.” Women, mothers or not, tend to tear one another down, instead of coming together. I recently graduated from law school and am an attorney at a national law firm and I have come to realize that in the professional and social world, women can be one another’s worst enemy instead of an advocate and ally. It is upsetting, and even pathetic at times and I hope we, as women, can one day get to a place where we celebrate one another, our differences, our diversity, and our strengths. As women. We have it hard. One day I want to be a mother, but I also want to be a succeful professional and sometimes those two things appear to be mutually exclusive because society somehow perpetuates this sentiment that being a successful professional means you somehow have to sacrifice motherhood. It is my hope that I can do both and that the women around me will mentor, encourage, and be a source of light in the journey.

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By: Robin

Sat, 08 Apr 2017 03:20:29 +0000

I’ve been following your blog for awhile now, but have not come across this post until today. What a word of encouragement on a day I really needed it. Thank You.

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By: Ali

Sun, 18 Sep 2016 09:14:29 +0000

A little late to comment I know but I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. I am so tired of hearing how awful people are being online and in real life. I feel like every mom deals with mom shaming at some point. I have chosen to only have one child and I feel like for the rest of my life I am going to be judged by all of the cashiers at stores who ask if I have other kids and then give me sad eyes when I just say I have one or comment “she must be spoiled.” It is possible to spoil your kids if you have more than one of them! I should know. I am the oldest of 4 and I was totally spoiled! We all do what is right for us and my husband and I know that having more kids would not work for us. I routinely feel shamed for my choice and that people would be more understanding if I had fertility issues or some other issue that wasn’t my choice. It doesn’t upset my anymore (she’s 4 now) but the constant comments by people who don’t even know me are just annoying. It has really helped me understand that we all make choices as parents for different reasons and it is none of my business!

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By: Eva Martino

Wed, 15 Jun 2016 12:54:22 +0000

In reply to Amber.

Thanks Amber!

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By: Eva Martino

Wed, 15 Jun 2016 12:49:25 +0000

In reply to Stephanie.

Stephanie,
I’m so sorry you felt shamed in that way. It definitely adds fuel to the fire when you’re already feeling vulnerable about going back to work. Just remember that the bond between a mother and child is unbreakable. We lay the groundwork for our relationship with our child while they are still in the stars and no amount of time at work, in Siberia, or on the Moon can ever take that away from you two. Good for you for getting back out there and doing what is best for you and your family! Believe me, once your child is born and you feel that fierce commitment to him/her you will never worry that somebody’s stupid and flippant comments can diminish or disprove it.

xo
EAM

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By: Eva Martino

Wed, 15 Jun 2016 12:44:29 +0000

In reply to Courtney.

Totally! Parenting is really the hardest job in the world. Then, maybe, being President of the United States…lol

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